Smiles---and tears---we cannot seem to stop either one of them from coming! Smiles because you cannot imagine the tremendous amount of joy we are experiencing as the team gets to know the children and the workers more and more---each one of us giving away a large portion of our hearts...playing with the children, giving gifts, playing in the yard, holding them while they sleep, giving medicine to the ones who have such a bad cough, all while praying that God takes this little child (who has experienced more in their few short years than many of us will ever in a lifetime) and use them in such a mighty way...
tears will not stop because as each one of us gives away a portion of our heart, we are realizing with shame the tremendous amount of work that God has yet to do in each of our hearts. We have kept back so much of our hearts for ourselves and yet God is unveiling His curtain and showing each of us, some for the first time, that there truly is a much bigger picture that He has for each one of us outside of our own little world.
I truly thought that God had broken every piece of me a few months ago when I was here---I am realizing now, that that was on the first layer....and my heart is a mile thick! It truly brings me to tears just to realize how much I still have not surrendered to God.
Today, we got the tremendous privilege of attending the first baptism of the orphanage...12 precious children and adults have come to know Christ as Savior! If you have ever prayed or gave toward this project, you have had a hand in this!!! Praise Jesus! I don't know if there was a dry eye as we watched these souls make a public example of their faith in Christ. I don't know what the others were thinking (though I saw many tears), but all I could think was that these 12 people were my family--my brothers and sisters in Christ. There is such a connection with them--even though we can't do anything more than typically greet each other--that can only come from a bond in Jesus Christ. I realize that the Bible says not to compare ourselves with each other, but I could not help but feel completely inadequate in my walk with Christ. It is evident---I love Christ and serve Him out of convenience....they love and serve Christ because HE IS THEIR LIFE....that is a difference that is growing more and more evident to me every minute I am with them.
Several of us attended the market today--holy cow....Black Friday has nothing on this town : ) Ladies, your 4am at Kohls wouldn't hold a candle to the shopping that happens in this city! We were able to purchase bowls, cups, diapers, baby wipes & food, and sunglasses for the orphanage. Rodney and Cathy are pro's at this....it was fun to watch them shop! Poor Shelby, Sara and Bri are about to go crazy if they here one more person call them "Blanc" (the creole for white!). It is too funny!
Back at the orphanage, we were able to give each child a new pair of sunglasses and fit them for a new pair of shoes. Such simple gifts--yet it shredded our hearts to watch each of these kids get so excited with their brand new possessions....makes us want to give them everything we have. What in the world do we need 15 pairs of shoes for? They are craving to just have 2 that fit. Why do we need a closet full of clothes when they would just like to have 2 outfits---one for today and another for tomorrow. God, why do we need money to eat out 3 times a week, when they kids are begging for just 3 meals a day...all these questions and so many more are plaguing not only my mind, but also the minds of many of the other members on this team. Again, I realize that it is a process that God is hammering away, but I get really uneasy about each filthy layer that He uncovers in my heart....simply because it is so ugly.
The boys are just about to finish the closets and the cubby holes--you ought to see how excited the kids are! We are going to get stickers and label each one with their names....it is too much fun! Tomorrow is the church dedication and the evening church service...cannot wait!!!
Tonight, we are at Rodney and Cathy's and are going to eat a wonderful meal, blog with family back home, sit outside under a well lit patio, and drink pepsi and ice cold water....when just 10 minutes up the road 41 of the most amazing children will be sitting in the dark, thirsty, and waiting for their meal which is 13 hours away---it literally turns my stomach to see the unfairness in the whole situation.
Despite it all, though, I know that this is too part of the process--we are changing...each one of us...and God is doing it through dirty roads, littered streets, crazy markets, hot temperatures, fabulous missionaries, 41 precious children and 7 workers.....it's a process that is just beginning--and I am pretty certain will take a lifetime to complete....
Someday this will all be righted and then we will understand...I love you! Sis lives are being changed thru your blog, don't stop. You have been given a gift, continue to use it to make a difference. There is a bigger picture and you are personally experiencing it and Bri...God is so faithful to hear and answer a mothers prayers. I am humbled... mom
ReplyDelete