Not sure how well composed this blog is going to be...feeling pretty raw right now and an absolute mess. I purposely did not write yesterday because I could not collect my emotions enough to sit down and type.
Today is the last day that we are here. In just a few minutes, we will get on the dusty, broken, blue bus with the "tout for Jesus" and "Let's go missionaries" painted on it and take our crew of 18 up to the orphanage where 41 lives have completely changed ours...
How in the world am I going to get through the day without bawling.....pretty sure I already know the answer to that--I won't ( I can tell that because the tears are streaming down my face now) I can't describe the screaming in my heart that is taking place leaving Moses and Judely---I simply don't know how. I know that God wants them in our home---I am more sure of that that I am of anything in this life (apart from my salvation in Christ). They are supposed to be with Sean and I in our forever families....I just cannot wrap my mind around how God is going to do it.
As much as I am feeling, I know that I am not the only one hurting today. Each one on our team is experiencing his or her own set of emotions. The general consensus is that we should stay more days, but we just don't know how to make it possible. Each one of us are trying to cope and smile, but there is a general "sadness" that is over our head at the thought of saying goodbye.
It seems pretty fitting that today is Valentine's day--it is to me, a direct representation of what we are doing...we are physically giving each one of these kids a heart....but in MUCH LARGER sense, we are literally giving these kids our heart. We love them. Guys, this is not an "high on the mountain top" feeling--this is an emotion that is so strong in each of our hearts that it only comes from God. We want these kids---we are praying, literally begging God to perform a miracle. We know He can.....we pray it is soon.
This trip--I cannot say it enough---is short....so short.--5 days to be exact--- but I have a feeling that the impact of this trip will last forever.
Heading to the orphanage now, then going to the clinic to visit burn victims in pediatric unit and then preparing for our birthday social for the kids...they are coming to the place where we are staying! This will be the first time they have been off the property in over a year---we are thrilled to see their smiles and give them their gifts.
God is going to allow this to be a great day---I know that--but I am praying that--just for today--He doesn't ever let the sun set...
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