While I am waiting...

I have been thinking for a couple of days as to how to wrap up the blog for this past trip---words just are not coming naturally. To tell you the truth, I think it is because being home is not feeling natural at all. Sean and I are both struggling with the fact that our home feels empty--something that up until a couple of months ago, we just didn't realize. It is empty because we can hear a couple of little boys running up and down are hallway with Gracie chasing them....but there is no running. It is empty because we can see a room that should be decorated in little boys stuff...but it is not. It is empty because we can here squeals of laughter coming from the tub as 2 little boys play in the water....but once again, there is not.

Now, before I paint a picture of gloom and doom--trust me--there is none of that here! As a matter of fact, our hearts are full of joy and hope at the experience that God has just given us and the love that He has given us for these boys....there is just a sense that these boys belong here---but they just are not here yet. I serve a God that can do what humanly seems impossible, and I am clinging to that fact. He knows our hearts, and I am praying BELIEVING that He can do it.

I had a good friend tonight, share with me a song that I needed to hear. It was entitled "While I am waiting"--totally fits my thoughts exactly. The jist of the song is that while I am waiting for God to work, I am still going to spend my time serving, worshipping and trusting my God...and that's just what I am going to do. Wednesdays are 'fasting and prayer' days for our group of people that are desperately wanting to bring home our children. So, I am praying, and I am waiting---however, I am also going to praise my God and look for additional ways to serve Him while I wait on this particular answer.

I have been reading and talking with some of the team members who went on this trip, and I think the general consensus is that we are all a mess!!! It is like we have literally been given a new set of eyes, and everything--from our possessions, to our families, to our reactions, to our desires, to our emotions and attitudes---everything is being viewed through a totally different lense. I have to admit--it is really hard to look through. It's hard simply because BEFORE 7 days ago, we could be comfortable with where we were, how we lived, what we owned, what our dreams were, and how we viewed life....now, 7 days later, that world has been rocked and we simply can't live the same way ever again. We have been, as one author put it, 'gloriously ruined', and live as we knew it can never be the same.

I praise God for the opportunity that He gave us. I know that He is the one the orchestrated the team, and that He had a specific purpose to accomplish in the lives of each of us who went down. I can't wait for the next trip and to watch who God begins to move on their hearts to join us, Lord willing, in April.

While I am waiting for that trip and for our boys to come home, I am going to praise God for His unveiling of a much bigger plan for my life and for the lives of those who came and continue to flip through pictures and videos of an amazing week that has forever changed my life.