A year....all in a week....

Where do I even start.....so much has happened and so much is overwhelming my heart. I feel like I have lived 1 whole year and it has only been a week. I know that this is going to be a sorry attempt at verbalizing what I feel, but I know that I need to get it out....

Just to recap this roller coaster week....

*Tuesday--get the call that Moses (this is not how you spell or say his name, but it is the closest American rendition of it!) and Wannson are sick with cholera and probably will not make it. God, through the help of people in several states and in several different countries, mobilize a medical team that comes and gets the boys......all seems to be fine.

*Wednesday--Moses & Wannson plus 3 other children and 2 workers now have cholera. Moses and Wannson are still hanging on but still not expected to live. In the meantime, I slowly feel like God is ripping out my heart because we are here and cannot do one this to help.....except to pray (more about that later!)

*Thursday--13 children & workers have cholera and we learn that they are now taking the dead bodies of the people of Gonaives out in dump truck. Cathy "prepares" my heart by saying that God is totally able to do a miracle---but it is going to have to be just that because the "chances" of us not losing at least several children to this horrible epidimec is highly unlikely

*Friday---Wannson is better, but Judely (Bri's little boy) and Moses have now slipped into a coma. This is the part that literally shatters my heart to write. I asked Cathy if they will "work on the boys" until the end like they do here in the States. She said, "no--they will just put them in a room and let them be..." Tears still roll down my cheek as I think about it--they were going to leave those 2 boys---Sean & I's two boys---in a room all by themselves as they die. I CANNOT explain that raging emotion in my heart....it still makes me sick to think about it. Cathy said we are still praying for a miracle because it is a miracle they are still here. I knelt by my bed, and I practically was half sobbing/half yelling, "God--I know you are God--and I know you can work a miracle...and I KNOW you answer prayers, and my head wants to trust you....but God, please God, don't make this the answer. Please don't bring those boys to see you today---please don't let that be your answer to this prayer..." In the same breath (this, again, just magnfies my shallowness in my walk with God) I prayed, "God send an angel to get them....please don't make them do this alone---please don't let them be scared....please, Father, if you are coming to get them, please make this a fun ride....please, please send an angel and please don't let them be scared..." I am praying for a miracle and then praying in the next breath against the very thing I am asking for---completely shows my unbelief.

*Saturday morning---get a call from Cathy that the boys are still with us here on earth but still in a coma and now they have run out of IVs. So we spent the morning making several calls and trying to see if anyone here in the States could get access to them. At this point, I believe that we are in the HUNDREDS of people praying and storming the throne of God on behalf of these boys.....and I am still asking for an angel to come carry them home....

                              Judely is the little boy in this picture I am holding....

Sean and Moses : )

*Saturday afternoon--Cathy calls, half laughing, half crying, half yelling---THOSE BOYS ARE AWAKE....THE DOCTORS SAID "FOR WHATEVER REASON" THOSE BOYS ARE AWAKE AND THEY ARE SIPPING SOUP.....NONE OF THOSE KIDS ARE GOING TO DIE!!!!!!
There are not words in the English language the describe the unspeakable joy and wash of relief that came over me and Sean in that instant....God, our God, worked a miracle that we cannot even begin to comprehend.

Today, these boys are still alive and are recovering...

And in all of this, I stand completely in awe and completely ashamed at how I limited my God this week....All week long, I prayed--because I knew I should---but I kept preparing myself for "the call" because in my mind--it was coming. Lord, please, please forgive me.

I know that to step outside my own little world and to continue to live there is going to require complete trust in God....and prayer is my only access to that power. God is teaching me more and more about Himself but even more about me....both are scary! It is scary to me to realize how ignorant I am of the "biggness" of my God and His omnipotent power....and it is even more scary to me to see how little I trust Him.

I am so, so grateful for His merciful answer this week--and I am even more grateful for His mercy and patience for me as He walks me through this completely new territory outside my own little world.

do I have to get up?

Since Haiti, I can't explain it, God is opening my eyes wider and wider. Right now, I feel like I am just waking up from a deep sleep. Things are blurry and I am really disoriented, but there is no mistaking---I am totally awake.

I am awake to the fact that there is a much, much larger world out there and God has totally and completely got a bigger picture in store for me than I can even imagine. I feel like I am experiencing the lyrics of the song that is playing in the background of this blog...there is much greater purpose that I can be experiencing and have been missing out on for so long. It makes me so ashamed that I have been too self absorbed and too busy to step outside my own little world to see it.

In the past 24 hours, I have been completely reminded of my own shallowness and my complete lack of faith in my God. Oh sure, I say all the time that I believe and trust God--and in those moments, I honestly think I think I do--, but a phone call yesterday morning exposed that gaping wound in my oh so calloused heart. Two little boys that Sean and I left our hearts with in Haiti, Moses & Wannson, both contacted cholera at the orphanage and were not expected to live. I cannot describe the range of emotions I went through over the next couple of hours. Frustration-anger-sadness--extreme sadness--guilt--and doubt....lots and lots of doubt. Doubt that God could really handle this by himself with me being so many miles away (doesn't that just sound so shallow?!?) By the end of the day, though, God did miraculously intervene and literally moved mountains and got a medical team to the orphanage and as of this afternoon, both boys are still with us here on earth. However, I cannot escape the nagging feeling in my soul and those glaring questions that come with it.....It is as God is literally asking "why did you doubt Me?"/ "Am I not real enough to you for you to know I am always in control?" / "Do you not trust Me and believe that whatever answer I choose--regardless of the outcome--it is the right one?"

Then there my mind screaming the other questions at me "why are you waiting to adopt?"/ "did you know that Moses & Wannson are just 2 of millions of children that are sick today?" "Do you understand the global need that is screaming for a solution while you sit in your house worried about what color to paint your bathroom?" "When did you become so shallow?"

These and about 50 other questions have been permeating my mind for the past 24 hours, and the only thing I know is that I am coming face to face with a person that I do not like--and that is me.....or at least, should I say, the person that I am. I know that God loves me, and that will never change. However, to get me outside my own little world....which is ultimately where I know He wants me to live....He has to make me know intimately the very person who lives in her own little world. It's funny--I think that I didn't realize that this was going to be a stop on the journey! I really thought God was going to break my heart for the people and situations around me, use me to be part of the solution, and somehow I was going to be gaining treasures in heaven---doesn't that just sound so sweet---....again, dummy me...what I am finding is that He isn't using Haiti to break my heart for the people....He is using the people of Haiti to break me and my calloused heart....and expose all of the many pieces that He does not own...and there are so, so many...

If it is taking all of this for me to see just one more person outside my own little world, what is it going to take for my eyes to finally open to the billions of people that I still haven't seen....

Back to reality---is that even possible...

Well, Sean and I have been home officially for 7 hours, and I am mess. I cannot keep thinking about those kids that we left behind. Sean was flipping through his photos last night on the plane, and I just cried as I saw each one of their faces. We truly fell in love with them....

Sean kept talking about each one and the different memories we have about them....their little dusty butts, their shy smiles, their clinging to your neck when you give them a hug wanting you to never let them go, their school uniforms that were just way too big for them, their poor looking shoes, their absolutely melt your heart singing, their excitement as they opened their gifts, the grins they gave you once they began to know you more, calling Sean and I "Sean and Madame Sean"....as so many, many more....

To me, the hard part, I don't believe is wrestling with living in America and the wealth that we have as Americans---the hard part, for Sean and me, is going to be living in America without those kids...My mind is working overtime to figure out, first of all, how to get each one of you down to that orphanage to meet those children, then, the second part is to figure out how to get those children here to the States so they can have a forever home with a family.

The orphanage directors are some of the most astounding people you have ever met--pretty sure they are stellar compared to Haiti standards, and you probably would have a hard time finding an American couple with a bigger heart too...I spoke with her through a translator and I asked how does she enjoy being the mother of 38 children!!! She said she loves doing the Lords' work, but she hates that she does not have the time necessary to give the children the one on one attention, love, and hugs that they so desperately need. Between her and the 5 nannies, a basic day is merely survival. A typical day starts at 5am with every getting breakfast ready for the 38 children, 5 nannies and 2 directors (45 people total), then getting all the children up and dressed for school---not THAT is an amazing task! Out the door for school.....while the children are at school, the workers wash laundry, clean the orphanage and fix meals....now, please remember, they are washing with no washing machine ladies... this is washed in the river and laid out on the rocks to dry. They also must walk a great distance with 5 gallon buckets on their heads to get enough water for cooking, bathing and drinking.

When the children get out at noon, it is lunch time, and shower time for all 38 children. They get a sponge bath by the workers--you cannot imagine the dust. Clothes are changed for playclothes. The children then have chores & homework. Dinner is next and then clean up. By this time it is dark and about 8pm...time for all the children to go to bed.

It is a very full day and they do a great job meeting the needs of the children....it is just that their #1 need---love---is hard to fill....as the director's wife said.

I know that I will never be the same as a result of this trip. God has completely given Sean and I a new direction in our hearts and a love that we cannot explain for these little Haitians...can't wait to see what happens next!!!!

Do we really have to go?!?!?

Hardest thing today was to tell the kids good bye...can't believe it. In just the short time we spent with them, their hearts have wrapped around ours and it breaks our hearts to leave them. Of course, we are ready to come home and see our families we just wish we could each bring home the newest member of each of YOUR families!

Thankyou to each of you who prayed last night for the orphans...for the most part, they were feeling tons better. My newest prayer request is for a little baby named "bob". He was dropped off today at the orphanage because his mother had ran out of food for him a COUPLE OF DAYS AGO!!!! He was so weak. I thought he was maybe 2 months old....however, the director of the orphanage told me he was SEVEN months old....Cathy and I simply couldn't believe it. The orphanage had no formula so we did the best we could...we drove a nail through water bottle and used one of Ed's Propel packets that had vitamins and dumped that in there.  The baby drank and drank and drank until I just had to stop him...it was the saddest thing...we are praying in formula tonight for him from another missionary close by. I think just about every member on the team was ready to pack him up and bring him right home.

We have done some amazing things so far for the orphanage and I am thankful for that! There is SOOOOOO much more, though, that they need. I am going to be spear heading that project and will be letting you know in a couple of days what is really needed and what we can immediately do. I will share soon what amazingly wonderful people the directors are, and I pray that God moves in each of our hearts to truly embrace these kids totally and completely as OUR CHILDREN....because, in reality, they are.....they have no mother and father.

We are so grateful to Rodney and Cathy most of all for who they are and secondly what they have done here...it is nothing short of God's grace. I cannot explain to you the amount of respect that I have for these two amazing servants of God. AND>>>I cannot wait for each of you---yes, you!--to come and make the trip yourself.

Jan--we are definitely "in" for the girls trip---start rallying the troops....I will be bringing home a surprise that might speed the process up a little (no, unfortunately, it is not a child!)--can't wait to share it with you all!

Mom & Bri--you had best be on this trip!!!

The roof got on the school today and all of the boys are tired but completely satisfied. We will leave tomorrow with a sad but happy heart if that makes any sense at all!!!!

Can't wait to see you on Sunday : ) Thanks so much for your comments and prayers, the team has enjoyed reading it all week!!!!

Put down whatever it is you are doing, right now....

And get on a plane and get yourself down here to this orphanage!!!! Nothing I will say in this blog will match the joy on the faces of the orphans, the directors, the workers, or us that was experienced today. It was unlike anything I have ever experienced! You guys would absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE them!!!!

We passed out all of the presents and it was like Christmas times 20--you have never seen such a thing!

Brianne--I hugged Judley with everything I could....he is so precious! I have to tell  you that he was "designed to be yours" from the beginning. He opened his gifts, took out his clothes and giggled. He held them to his face and then he folded them every so neatly, stuck them back in the bag and put them right under his matress. He wanted to make sure they were there to look at later : )

Jan & Catina & Amy--the boys LOVED their gifts and the pictures. We spent quite a bit of time going through each of your names, and I quizzed them until they could each recite each person by heart. You are, as they would say, "my family far away" : )   Melts my heart!!!

Pastor's little girl, Jasmine, would not stay away....she looked up at the orphanage worker and told him to tell Pastor "I love him"....well, Pastor was mush after that! He says he is taking her home...doesn't know what he is going to do the next 20 years, but he doesn't care!

Stanley (Bob & Carolyn's boy) is a spitting image of Bob....! He kept wanting his bag zipped so none of his toys would fall out---Bob says that's his kind of boy! I think Bob's heart is softening in his old age : )

Dad--your guy LOVED his stuff---actually of everyone, I think your sizing was just about the best when it came to clothes.  All the kids are just so much smaller than what we imagined!

The baby dolls were a hit--ladies! Each girl was carrying them around and instantly forming families....too precious considering they get the opportunities to be mothers...since they don't have any!

I want to write about the rest of the kids, but we are getting ready to leave for church....please, please, please know that your kids (trust me, they are your kids!) are so excited and grateful for what they have received....I just wish we could give them more. Their shows and underclothes are really lacking for all of them, so that might be our next project.

Also, special request....the little ones are really starting to get sick....not cholera, but definitely colds and lots of fevers. Cathy has ran out of medicine for them. Pray that God supernaturally puts His hand on these children tonight as they sleep and heals their little bodies. I wish I could bring a team of you all just to come down here and hold them and love them for about 5 days straight....I believe that is what their bodies and souls need most...

You guys, again, I can't tell you how amazing it is to know these kids and the directors---each one of you would be changed forever and be adding to your family if you could just take a short 6 hour ride and get here. They have no father, mother, or family---but we have now become that to them, and I LOVE them with each of my heart. I think each of us (the team) is leaving a piece of their heart her at the orphanage....

I am so very happy to see you...

Do you know how many times we heard that phrase today in our own language? Every time I heard the phrase said to me or someone in our group, it nearly makes me cry....

These people have no idea have "so very happy" we are to see them. They are an absolute inspiration and a walking testimony of the grace of God. Each one of us has our own special stories of specific people that we were "so very happy to see" because God placed them in our lives during a specific time on this trip. Each one of us carries home a specific memory/moment that God truly encouraged, convicted or just down right blessed our heart....it has been amazing. I can't wait for each of you to hear the stories from each one of us in the coming weeks.

It has been very hot and we are consuming gallons upon gallons of liquid a day--praise God for the culligan man--his bottled water has kept us alive : )

Today we completely finished a church---roof is up, tin is on, and the people are excited and praising God! It is a great accomplishment! It was so much fun for me to play with the children....there are a couple that have also won a spot in my heart. One girl's name was Sandy....she was about 9 years old and she had a "Brianne" heart--she just wanted to make sure everyone was okay all the time. I could understand that, and I can't even speak her language! Bri, you would have LOVED her : ) The other was a little boy named Oen (pronounced Owen). Holy cow, this boy was a HOOT! He was 8 years old and you could tell he just knew he was God's gift to the world! He called me his "white girlfriend" and played his "air guitar" for me every chance he could---cracked me up all day!

One of the most humbly experiences so far, also happened at the church this afternoon. I had a pastor who understood basic English invite me to his home about .5 mile away from where the guys were working. Of course I went! We we got to his yard (which by the way was only a dirt yard, but it was absolutely spotless!), he announced me to his family. The started pouring out of this little hut....literally the house was about the size of most bathrooms. He got me the one chair from inside the hut and had me sit in the shade while everyone else in his family came and sat on the ground....that in an of itself almost made me cry. Then, he proceeded to tell me in broken English "I am so sorry I do not have a gift-not even bananas--for you. I have had many persecutions. But, I do have a gift I can give." Then, we went over to his one goat who had just had 2 babies (literally probably 2 days ago) and got one of the babies to bring to me. He wanted me to take one of the babies as a gift for coming to him home! I almost lost it! I did not want to cry because I knew I would not be able to explain to him why I was crying and I didn't want him to think I was upset. I tried as best as I could to say "No, spending time with your family is an honor to me...this is the best gift". For the next hour, I sat in the shade and listened to his whole family sing to me, teach me creole, and tell me their story. Most of their family had died and some are dying right now from the cholera outbreak. It was absolutely heart breaking. However, after his whole story--part in English, most in Creole, he closed his eyes and pointed to the sky and said, "After all this, I KNOW my God loves me.....He loves me.....and I love Him" I can't explain the emotions of awe, praise to God, inspiration, shame, and so many other things I felt at that very moment...God definitely used Him in my life at that moment---I won't be the same!

Tonight we went to the Bible institute and saw over 200 men and ladies coming from miles away to learn more of God's Word! It was awesome. I got to speak with the ladies tonight, and I won't go into all the details, but I want you to know that God met with us tonight....nothing short of anything that He was capable of doing, and I am just humbled. There are some amazing women here---I cannot wait for you all to meet them!


Tomorrow is ORPHANAGE DAY!!!!!! We all cannot wait---I think we are all just itching to get there!!! I promise, we will hug each one of your kids for you, give them the gifts and take TONS of pictures! I have determined there is no way to upload photos because of the speed, so you will just have to wait on those!

Jan--the pig is making it just fine--loving every stop we make. He should find his forever home tomorrow--please tell Sarah!

Mom--tell dad that everyone is still asking about him. Matt & I are "famous" only because we are known as "Toby's kids" : )

Bob Cooper drank 2 full bottles of water today--totally supposed to report that!

Sean, Pastor, Terry, and Lille all suffered "tin injuries" but are mending and doing well!
Josh and Todd worked like machines today putting the tin on--it couldn't have been less than 120 degrees and they never complained.

Ed continues to work like crazy--today he was the tin man as he lifted the tin to the roof. He also did alot of the measurements for the boards with Bob Lawrence. 

Don't know how much we will get to share the rest of the trip---but please continue to pray and know that God is doing great things...we can't wait for tomorrow : )

One roof down--two to go : )

You would be so proud of your men today ladies! They did incredible! We went up to a place today that is 25 miles away....it took almost 2.5 hours to get there and was the craziest bus ride I have ever been on--there literally is no roads! However, despite the dirty, dusty, incredibly bone jarring ride, this was one of the most beautiful places in the world that I have ever seen! Imagine beautiful ocean view, with jungle looking mountains...separated by a desert with hundreds of cacti! It was amazing!!!

The guys all worked incredibly hard and got all but one layer of the tin on the roof. Needless to say we are all exhausted and are heading to bed early...back up at 4:45am : )

I really want to upload photos, but I can't because the upload time is so slow...so maybe one day soon!!!

Can't wait to share more stories when there is time....there are a ton : )

Church....

Ok Greg, I get it!!! Totally in love with the singing at these churches : ) I am sure there are some differences between Haiti and Africa, but can't be that many! I am all in favor of seeing what we can do to bring it back!

Half of us went with Cathy 45 minutes today to Rodney and Cathy's 1st church. Let me just say that Matt drove the massive blue bus and he said that "all of his wildest dreams came true" today---mudding in a church bus in Haiti! It was crazy! Pretty sure he will never be the same in the States : )

Josh preached today completely in Creole. It was absolutely amazing to watch the Holy Spirit work through him and to give him the ability to recall the language. He was nervous, but after about 3 minutes, you would have never known he has been away for 10 years! He will preach again tonight.

Pastor & Rodney and a couple of the guys went to a different church. One lady was saved--praise the Lord! Ed Smyth fell in love with a little boy who gave him a prized possession...a marble! Ed is keeping it along with his photo as a great souvenier.

The "Bobsey Twins" are both fighting over a little girl that completely stole their hearts! Bob C. said he is bringing her home and giving her to Bob L. only when she throws a fit! Bob L. if you can imagine this, just sat a cried watching these beautiful children. His favorite moment was when a little girl gave him the biggest hug imaginable....broke his heart practically in 2!

Back at the church we were at, my parents almost got their 1st grandchild! Nathaniel was his name and I absolutely cannot describe to you have beautiful this little boy was and what a happy spirit he had. I held him through the church service and did not want to let him go. Pretty sure that all of our kids may not necessarily have our skin color, but once our parents meet them, and my dad bawls his typical gallon full of tears, there will be no denying they are our kids---after a week they'll look just like us!!!

Todd, Sean, Matt, Terry, Lillie, and I  had a great time in the song service--clapping and singing at the top of our lungs. The language was different, but the songs were the same! Loved it.

Heading back to the house for a nap and then off to church tonight--can't wait : )

A Wide Range of Emotions

Ah....it's amazing how sleep and a shower can completely make you a new person!!!!  The team woke up early ( I mean 5am early!) and got ready for the day. After breakfast, we arrived about 8am to work; however, the Haitians that we were working with were running on their own time....so we actually got started about 9am : )  We arrived to a building with about 8 Haitians ready to help us work. Within about 30 minutes---the number grew to about 20!

It is really hot out here today so everyone was doing their best to stay hydrated. A couple of the guys got more than a little sick so had to take a little bit longer of a break. However, by the end of the afternoon, the frame for the roof has gone up. We will come back on Wednesday to put the tin on. For those of you wanting specifics, here you go:
 *Todd is doing okay--little weak at times, but he is doing fine.
 *Matt (i.e. "bigman") over worked himself and had to take a little long of a break but he is fine
 *The "Bobsey Twins" (Bob L. & Bob C.) both managed today. Bob C. was also dubbed "the shiek" because of his constant white towel on his head : )
  *Pastor & Ed worked well with the Haitians getting trusses built--though at times, the lanugage barrier was a little interesting! Pastor even had to drive the bus today---boy that was an adventure.
 *Lille helped with roof and with Bible school and is falling in love with the kids...who can blame her?!?
*Mark was shooting photography all day which is a HUGE blessing to all of us
*Josh is right at home! His language has come back and he was working incredibly well with the Haitians...I think it is fun for him to be home :
 *Terry is being set up by every guy on the team with some sort of mail order bride : )

We were also to have a Bible School for the children. It made me smile because we had about 5 kids there, so Cathy told them to run and tell the other children that we would be having a bible lesson at 11am...the kids starting pouring in this tin roof. I believe that when we started we had about 40 children there...with just a 10 minute warning : ) We had a short Bible lesson and song time and gave the children candy (can I tell you, there is no candy company in the world that could supply these kids with enough!!!)

Today was a huge blessing with a great feeling of accomplishment, and I think that I would have been happy to end today on that note...except that God had another plan in store. Right before we pulled into where we are staying, Cathy came back and asked me if I wanted to go with her to the hospital to pick up a baby that has water on his brain and take him (his name is Collins) to an American team of doctors that are here in Gonaives. To give you some history, Cathy met this woman (Anette) at the hospital in Gonaives shortly after the earthquake. Anette has lost 15 family members in the earthquake including her husband, mother, father, and a child. Cathy happened to meet her. Anette has basically latched on to Cathy and Cathy has taken a special interest in here. Anette's home town is 2 hours away. Today, Anette called Cathy to tell her that she had traveled the 2 hours to Gonaives because Collins is very sick. He has a very high fever. Yet, once she got here, there were no doctors in because of the weekend. Cathy immediately called this American team of doctors that she knew was in Gonaives this week and made arrangements for them to see Collins.

I cannot describe to you what I felt when I saw this little boy. He is dying--the doctors have told Anette there is nothing they can do but try to make him comfortable....and it tore out my heart. Here I was with him, holding his hand and rubbing his little legs. I said "bonjour" to him, and he looked at me and touched his hand to mine and said "bon..."---he was too sick to finish the rest of the word. But, he kept smiling....by the end of the trip, his eyes were rolling back in his head and he was fading quickly. I am not sure how much longer Collins is going to be present here on this earth, but I know that he has a forever home in 2 places....heaven and in my heart. Please pray for him and for his mom Anette....I cannot even imagine how she will deal with one more loss in her already empty world....

Outside my own little world today, I found hope & helplessness; smiles & tears; laughing and crying; determination & defeatedness....all range of emotions. And each of those emotions are slowly chipping away at this neat little box I call my "own little world"--I have a feeling, God has a ton more of carving yet to do...

Short post...but more will come later : )

We arrived safely here in Gonaives. I apologize at the beginning if this has parts that doesn't make sense or that are not spelled correctly.  I am now on hour 39 with no sleep. Ready to go to bed. We will be up bright and early to a very full schedule that I am sure we will be excited about after showers and shut eye : )

Must share 2 very exciting things that happened today----sat across the aisle from a woman on the plane. We smiled at each other; however, it wasn't until I pulled out my wordless book (story for VBS) and started going though it that she chatted with me. Long story short, she has been a missionary here for 27 years...and she has adopted 2 Haitian children of her own. We chatted for about 45 minutes and she was such a blessing. It wasn't until the very end that she shared with me why she was on the plane from the States---she is dying from lymphoma and she goes back every 3 months for treatments. I was absolutely dumbfounded. She was so in love with life and with her Savior that I would have never known! It was totally inspirational.

Also, met a man named Michelle who I sat beside. He is a grandpa (very proud one at that!). God opened several doors about salvation and I was able to share with him the story of Christ's death and to give him a tract in his own language. He did not make a decision, but I know that that was a "God appointment" for him, and I am praying that God will one day soon save his soul.

Praising God already for the generosity of Eddie & Madam Eddie--they have given of their time and their possessions already to ensure that we arrived and have a place to stay. I am so blessed already by them. Rodney and Cathy are busy answering all of our hundreds of questions over the 4 hour trip from the airport and being incredible hosts for us.

Hopefully tomorrow we will have time to post pictures and blog about what is happening.
 

What if there's a bigger picture?

Outside my own little world is not a place I visit too often. As a matter of fact, I can't remember the last time that I have been there...it's not that I don't want to visit--it's just that I am, well, you know, busy inside my own little world.

In my own little world, I feel like there is enough for me to do; sometimes, it is all-consuming...how in the world do I have time to visit other places? Yet, recently, I have been feeling like God is getting ready to send me on a trip. Guess where I am going?!? You got it, outside my own little world.

The phrase "what if there's a bigger picture" has been playing on repeat in my mind for about 6 months....what if, just maybe, there really is something I am missing out on because I will not leave my own little world to see it?

I love to travel (ask anyone who knows me well); however, I have a feeling that God's intentions are not for me to simply go on vacation. He wants me to become a resident of this new place---permanent citizenship.

He wants me to live outside my own little world and see the bigger picture that He has designed for me. I can already tell you, there are going to be some places that I really, really like--but I can also already foresee that there are going to be some places that I hope I don't have to visit very long. However, I guess, I will just have to deal with that as it comes.

Right now, God is just prepping my heart and getting me "packing". He is setting my priorities and shifting my heart. God is causing Sean and I to become inquisitive into the idea of what would our lives look like if we truly lived our lives doing something that matters to people outside our own little world---something that will count for eternity.

At this point, I don't really know where are ending destination will be or even how we are going to get there, but this one thing is for sure--I know that God has a much bigger picture for my life than I can see, and I am willing and ready to start the journey outside my own little world.

First stop, Haiti : )